Sunday, July 1, 2012

Decision has been made!!!!

So these past few weeks have been absolutely crazy with lots of decision making.  I of course decided not to take the full time position offered to me.  I couldn't feel good about it.  I love my girls and I just couldn't feel right with someone else raising them, though at times I feel someone else would do a better job than me.  I am their MOM, and for some reason I am their mom and I need to remember that and the sacred calling that it is to be a momma.  I love being a mom.  It is the hardest thing I've ever done, but the most rewarding.  I feel good about my choice.  After I made this choice I was praying/hoping that another job would come along.  I applied to many St. Lukes jobs with no response.  I felt very urgent about it because I didn't trust where I was anymore.  I felt very secure in my current postion.  Not for one second would I think I would be given an ultimatum.  I never thought for one second that I actually wouldn't be working there.  I thought I would be there until Dr. Bateman retired, which is like for 14 more years, and maybe even longer.  It's so weird to be leaving.  June 1st was my last day at my current job.  I will miss so many things.  I'll miss my patients who I absolutely adore, love, care for.  The doctors I work for, the hussle and bussle, the fun conversations each day, how hard I laughed sometimes, the things that I learned, my responsibilities, the trust of the patients, as you can see there is a lot I'm going to miss.  I started my new job on May 29th with a physician who has been so kind to me through this whole process.  She gave me a whole week after she interviewed me to do other interviews and make a decision.  She was very generous with helping me make my decision.  She made things clear, helped me feel cared for, wanted, talented, all those things that were stepped on when I was told to go full time or nothin at my other job.  I went on a Monday morning to just "skope things out."  I felt so good while I was there I couldn't say no to it.  I was apprehensive because I had another St. Lukes offer.  I was going to float around 6 clinics, didn't know my days I would work, etc, but I would have insurance for my family like I do now.  Everything would stay the same, nothing would change except the uncertainty of the schedule and places I would be.  I felt very uneasy about this but the pressure still having insurance for the family was enticing.  As I spoke to Dr. Burke (the new doc I work for ) she relieved me of many worries.  I felt that she would take care of me, help me with things to come.  I was very honest with things and she respected that and was comforting.  I chose Dr. Burke's office for many reasons.  I was apprehensive but now that I have been there for a month I have LOVED it.  It is much busier than I thought.  It is just me, the doc, and the receptionist and I like that.  I like that I finish and start everything.  I feel wanted, liked, appreciated.  I know now that Heavenly Father was probably taking me out of a situation that I would have not liked later on.  I have found out since that several people do not enjoy work anymore where I previously worked.  Due to the new computer program and such, it is much more stressful, and work has not been an enjoyment like it was previously.  Though I miss some things, I love more an my new place. I am happy to only be working 2 days just like I was before.  I enjoy my work and those I work with.  I'm grateful for this trial and what I have learned and developed a more sincere relationship with my Savior as He has always made me feel that He cares about every aspect of my life, even if I am a part time working mother. 
These are the two wonderful reasons why I chose another job instead of going full time.  They are the hardest, but most precious things in my life which I am sooo grateful me them. 

Thanks for all of your concerns.  I have heard from many of you that you have read my blog and haven't heard an answer.  I apologize.  Blogging, is on the bottom of my list, but I'll eventually get there. 


Scott and Jamie said...

I'm so happy that you have found a work environment that is uplifting. Hard choice, but seems everything worked out for the better!

Scott and Jamie said...

Oh, and you gotta post more pics of your girls! love them.

Holly said...

Good! It was so good to see you yesterday! I totally admire you for so many reasons and I'm glad we keep in touch. By the way, I tried the cheek trick with J's meds today and it worked like a charm - thanks!

Corinne said...

I'm glad things have worked out so well. You're a great mum and I'm sure a great nurse.